


Wandering

by astrangebird



Series: Growing and Changing [8]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Explicit Consent, First Time, Flirting, Hand Jobs, I'm dead set on Caleb having sensory processing issues, Little bit of Fluff, M/M, casual affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-05 09:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18825973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangebird/pseuds/astrangebird
Summary: Caduceus was not unaware of the long lingering looks that Caleb was giving him. The jokes and innuendos that their group made tended to go over his head a bit, but faces he understood.





	1. Wandering Thoughts

Caduceus was not unaware of the long lingering looks that Caleb was giving him. The jokes and innuendos that their group made tended to go over his head a bit, but faces he understood. He had held the odd funeral here and there where there were members of the congregation that clearly were only there at the behest of a widow and their attention waned from the internment and waxed toward an equally disinterested member to look meaningfully over glasses or under eyelashes. 

The way Caleb’s eyes would narrow to focus on him from a distance, face practiced in neutrality, may have seemed only calculating if he hadn’t known him well. But the way his eyes trace the curve of his throat or the line of his shoulders when he thinks Caduceus isn’t watching is a bit less than calculating. Sometimes he wasn’t even subtle about it, staring openly at his mouth when he spoke about mundane things or take a sip from his cup with a rather wistful look for the pragmatic wizard.

Caduceus has gotten himself comfortable in one of the few chairs that this house was left with in their makeshift library/laboratory. Caleb had taken to conducting most of his studying in this room and while he certainly wasn’t the best company when he was like this Caduceus enjoyed the quiet companionship. It also meant he could get away with staring at Caleb a bit more openly and not embarrass him too thoroughly. So he did. He really did find Caleb to be quite handsome. He had always been handsome even when covered in mud and ratty clothes, but now he got to see him look a bit closer to how he really wanted to look, without the mask. Caduceus took the time to really look at him, ogle him really, like Caleb has, and as he takes in his features his mind wanders a bit. He imagines the way Caleb smiles at him, the sound of his laugh, the way his eyes crinkle up when he’s happy. A warm feeling bubbles in Caduceus’ chest knowing that he is often the one who makes Caleb look like that. His thoughts drift a little more and he thinks of that intense and heady look in Caleb’s eyes when he’s kissing him, the little sounds that he has managed to coax out of him when he’s feeling more adventurous, the feeling of his stubble under his fingers or the stutter of his ribs when he lets out an excited breath. A similar but somehow very different warmth simmers lower in his stomach knowing that he is the _only_ one who makes Caleb look like that. 

He wrangles his thoughts back to him and sees a faint flush creeping up Caleb’s face, apparently he’s been noticed. Caleb looks up from his notes to look inquisitively at Caduceus, who gives him a pleasant smile.

“Why are you staring at me?” Even when flustered Caleb is always direct with his questions.

“You’re very nice to look at,” Caduceus replies. 

“I’m very average looking for a human,” Caleb deflects out of habit, growing a bit redder under Caduceus’ attention.

“Well maybe you’re above average to a firbolg,” Caduceus offers with a chuckle, thinking about the few partners his sisters had brought to visit the Grove over the years, none of them piqued his interest and all of them were less handsome than Caleb. 

“You flatter me, Caduceus.” He stands and stretches from his cramped position and walks over to Caduceus sitting on the arm of his chair and leaning to balance himself with a hand on the back of chair next to Caduceus’ head. This is as close to looming as Caleb can manage being as short as he is. There’s an odd but pleasant fluttering in Caduceus’ stomach as Caleb leans down to place a chaste kiss to his lips, effectively boxing him in against the chair. 

“I have not met many firbolgs, but of the few I have met you are by far the most appealing. In fact, I would say you are more handsome than most _people_ I have met.”

“Wursh is more attractive than both of us, I mean have you seen his abs?”

“I have and you are correct, that is why I said most and not all,” Caleb smiles broadly at him, amused by the turn of the conversation.

That fluttering feeling flares up again, lower and lower each time Caleb smiles at him or his hair slips out from behind his ears or when his shirt tugs tight across his chest. It doesn’t help that he’s eye level with his suddenly very distracting throat. His thoughts slip from him again and he thinks about nuzzling into the freckled white skin, breathing deep the smell of smoke and herbs and earth that he has come to know. He follows the thought to laying open mouthed kisses down past the collar of his shirt. That sounds like a nice idea.

“Are you alright? You look rather flushed, I can see it through your fur.” Caleb is watching him, looking concerned, must think he’s ill.

Caduceus gives him an impish smile before wrapping both of his arms around Caleb’s waist and hauling him off the arm of the chair and into his lap. He lets out a startled yelp as his balance is taken from him, looking thoroughly surprised at his new reclined position in Caduceus’ arms, his legs dangling over the arm of the chair and the arm he was balancing with left to hang off the other side.

“I’m doing great, how about you?” Caduceus looks down at him, pleased with himself.

“I can definitely say I am glad I took a break from my work.” Caleb replied, smiling pleasantly.

Caduceus winds his arms tighter around Caleb and shifts himself until he’s able to lean over him comfortably, tucking his face into the crook of Caleb’s neck. He takes a deep breath and is met with that sooty and earthen smell and the weird spice of new magic. Caleb tenses in his arms as the flat of his nose presses into his skin and Caduceus feels a tentative hand snake its way into his hair. He runs his nose up the length of his neck pressing it into the underside of his jaw and Caleb’s hand clenches tight around a fistful of his hair at the back of his head making his scalp tingle. 

“Caduceus…” Caleb sucks in a sharp breath and Caduceus can feel his whole body heat up in his embrace, and an interesting new smell begins to rush just under his skin.

“Hmm?” He presses his nose against Caleb’s pulse, trying to get a better whiff of this new smell.

“What are you doing?” Caleb squirms a bit under him, his voice tight. Caduceus can feel the hand that is trapped between their bodies clench as he tries to rub his fingers together, his nervous self soothing habit.

Caduceus pulls back, Caleb is flushed a very pretty pink but looks tense, embarrassed, guilty? The thumb of his free hand is rubbing quickly over his fingertips like he’s trying ground himself. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! Was that too forward? I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.” Caduceus says in a rush, feeling guilty that he’s made Caleb so uncomfortable.

“Ah, no, it-it’s alright. It has just been a very long time since… well… hmm.. I am just unused to people touching me… like that.” Caleb’s eyes can’t seem to settle on a single place, and he still looks like he’s feeling guilty, as if it was him pushing boundaries and not Caduceus. 

“If you’re not ok with it I can let you go, Caleb. You don’t have to feel guilty for having boundaries.” 

“It is not boundaries that I feel guilty about. I don’t think I can call it guilt either…” He trails off, seemingly losing the point of what he was talking about. He looks like he’s trying really hard to not slip deep into thought, back in time or to a different place. Always living in the past.

“Is this about earning my affections, again?” Caduceus ask, watching as Caleb’s face contorts into a grimace, “I’ve already told you that you don’t need to. I very much want to be affectionate with you.”

He’s quiet for a moment, thinking, and he replies in a soft voice, “I’m trying…”

“I’m not gonna push you, but know you don’t have to hide what you want from me.” He gives Caleb a soft but pointed look, knowing that he will understand what he’s implying. Caleb’s flush returns in full force signifying that he does indeed understand. 

“Thought I was being subtle.” Caleb gives him a bashful smile, and it takes everything Caduceus has to not kiss him silly looking the way he does, cradled in his arms with his hair splayed out over the arm of the chair.

“In your defense I’m very perceptive.” He chuckles, gently butting their foreheads together.

“Well my room is literally only on the other side of that door if you’re interested.” Caleb’s face turns cherry red as he points in the direction of his bedroom door, mere feet away. 

“And I thought I was being forward.” Caduceus laughs, pulling Caleb in for a kiss.

There’s a quick stuttering knock on the door to the library and Caleb jerks his head back, bumping into the arm of the chair as Nott comes barging into the room with Yeza in tow. 

“Aaah! Sorry Caleb! Caduceus! I should have waited a bit!” Nott flutters her hands about before covering her eyes with one hand and groping blindly to cover Yeza’s with the other, who looks more amused than embarrassed.

“The fault is mine, this is a public space, I should have been more considerate.” Caleb mutters as he clambers out of Caduceus lap, leaving Caduceus feeling cold and frustrated in a way he isn’t familiar with. 

Nott rambles on about some weird concoction they’re making, taking turns with Yeza to describe all the properties of each bottle and jar of herbs and liquids before mixing or treating them. Caleb listens, not intently but patiently. Between gaps in the the babble he takes a few notes in his book, attempting to finish the work he started. Caduceus tunes out almost immediately, understanding maybe every third word that they’re saying, looking to Caleb to know when to nod or seem impressed. And here Caduceus gets to know the other side of the story, of the two lovers locked in a funeral just waiting for it to end. He feels a bit ashamed, not paying attention, but he thinks they’ll understand. Caduceus is talented at many things, science is not one of them. He would feel worse if Caleb wasn’t making eyes at him from under his lashes, clearly wishing that they had already been in his room before they came in. 

Another time perhaps.


	2. Wandering Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb has never been fond of close quarters, he tried to avoid them as much as possible. But he might have to rethink a few things because having his back pressed into the door of his bedroom by Caduceus is far more appealing than he would have thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what this is

Caleb has never been fond of close quarters, he tried to avoid them as much as possible. But he might have to rethink a few things because having his back pressed into the door of his bedroom by Caduceus is far more appealing than he would have thought. Caduceus has himself bent at an angle that can’t be comfortable to press firm and demanding kisses to Caleb’s lips, dragging a few frankly embarrassing sounds out of him as his large hands pull at his waist pressing him impossibly closer. 

Curious, he catches Caduceus head between his hands to hold him still and carefully runs his tongue across his upper lip, flicking it up the strange cleft that leads to his nose, watching for a reaction. Caduceus soft pink eyes flutter shut a moment and he lets out a breath Caleb hadn’t known he was holding. When he opens his eyes they’re filled with a heat he isn’t sure he’s ever seen from the normally cool and collected firbolg. He pushes out of Caleb’s hold and buries his face into the crook of his neck, he can feel his flat nose press in dragging a fine line of moisture over his skin cooling as the short huffing breaths ghost across the path. Caduceus’ hands wander from his waist to cup his ass and pull Caleb from the ground, pinning him firmly with his weight against the door. His gasp of surprise is followed quickly by a hiss as the new position presses Caduceus hips into his as his legs hook together behind his back.

“Back was hurting,” Caduceus offers, his normally relaxed and nonchalant voice sounding taut and gruff, music to Caleb’s ears.

“Ha, well we can’t all be as tall as you, Schatz,” Caleb gasps out, the nose at his neck has turned into a mouth as Caduceus trails wet kisses down his throat, nudging the collar of his shirt to kiss at his collar bones.

“Don’t you have a spell for that?” Caduceus chuckles into his chest before nosing back up to kiss at his Adam’s apple.

“Are you implying that we only continue for one more minute?” Caleb laughs and then stutters as Caduceus drags his tongue across the lump in his throat.

“Hmm forgot that spell isn’t very long lasting,” Caduceus follows the line of Caleb’s throat where the blood is rushing fast under his skin and breaths deeply, “I think I’ll be fine with you staying this size.”

Caduceus adjusts his footing and the motion pushes the now very noticeable length of Caduceus’ arousal into Caleb’s, causing them moan in tandem. Caduceus stills, tense, and pulls his face from its place in Caleb’s neck to look at him. He looks unsure now, nervous. Caleb had forgotten that while he may be very out of practice this was a first for Caduceus. He takes his face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over the baby fine fur of Caduceus cheeks.

“Everything alright? Do you need to stop?” 

“No I just… I don’t know where to go from here.” Caduceus smiles at him shyly.

“How about we get more comfortable? Maybe be on the bed instead?” Caleb offers.

“OK.” His voice is gravely, just louder than a whisper, and it’s the only response before his arms wrap entirely around him and press them chest to chest as Caduceus swings Caleb off the door, laying Caleb on his back, head carefully placed on the pillow. Sometimes he forgets how big Caduceus is, casting his shadow as he looms over him. 

“Would you like for me to lead?” 

He thought for a moment, rolling the question around a bit before responding, “Actually, I think I’d like to figure it out myself. Is that alright?”

“Oh, ja sure. What ah what did you have in mind?” That wasn’t the answer he was expecting but he certainly wasn’t disappointed.

His fingers hook into the gap between buttons on his shirt, “May I? I know you’re a bit over sensitive at times,” Those big pink eyes looking at him inquisitively, patient, as if he could wait forever for the answer. 

A fond feeling bubbles in his chest at his considerations, appreciated, but entirely unnecessary for how keyed up he’s feeling right now. “How about you just do what you’re looking to do and I’ll stop you if I need to.”

“Ok I can do that.”

The small buttons make his large fingers clumsy, but he’s nothing if not persistent, eventually wrangling Caleb’s shirt free from his pants and tossing it into some corner of the room. Caduceus lowers himself down the bed to press his whole face into Caleb’s chest, rubbing his beard into the dusting of coppery hair he finds there. The weight of Caduceus’ body on his is oddly comforting and his hands feel so large pressed against his sides as he kisses sniffs and occasionally licks his way down his body, over his ribs and down where his stomach dips and he runs into the waistband of his pants before circling back up to his chest, every touch careful but electric making his skin crawl in a very pleasant way. This could be rather relaxing if he wasn’t already achingly hard in his pants and he’s certain that Caduceus must notice since it’s currently being pressed into his stomach. Caduceus continues at his glacier pace and kisses over a nipple, causing Caleb to hiss and squirm under his weight. He pauses a moment, breath ghosting over him before taking it into his mouth, working it between his lips. Caleb lets out a breathy whine as Caduceus experimentally drags his tongue over the sensitive flesh.

“Du bringst mich um, Caduceus.” Caleb moans, bringing an arm up to cover his face.

“What was that?” Caduceus mumbles against his skin, moving across his chest to give the other nipple the same treatment.

Caleb’s other hand clutches at Caduceus’ hair as he repeats himself with more fervor, “You’re killing me Cad!” 

“Ha! Are you in a hurry?” He looks up at him with a soft teasing smile.

“No, but my components are just on the other side of the room and I will cast haste on you if you keep teasing me.” 

Caduceus laughs and Caleb grabs his face and pulls him up to kiss him hard, threading one hand through his soft hair and the other ghosts over the length of Caduceus ear. The few times he’s toyed with Caduceus ears he has been met with pleasant shuddering but also gentle hands guiding his curious fingers away and a soft voice telling him to hold off for another time. Now seems like another time. Caduceus shudders against him, a moan slipping between their lips as Caleb gently glides his fingers over the soft cartilage. Intrigued, Caleb grasp at his other ear, moving his hands in tandem from base to tip. 

“Ha-ah hooo aah ok..” Caduceus pulls away from his mouth to burry his face into the pillow, another stuttering groan shaking out of him as he shifts to press his hips into Caleb, the hot and hard line of his cock grinding into his thigh.

“Too much?” Caleb asks, fingers stilling, waiting for a response.

“If you’re looking to do anything else with me, yeah.” Caduceus laughs, his breath tittering out of him as Caleb’s hands leave his oversensitive ears.

“Oh! I will keep that in mind for later,” He gives Caduceus a rueful look when he pulls his face out of the pillow, “I did have other things in mind for tonight.”

Caduceus pushes himself up into a sitting position and pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it across the room. Caleb has seen Caduceus naked before, but being so close he is struck by how thin he is. His shoulders are broad and he clearly has some muscle to him, what with the kind of work he’s been roped into, but he can see nearly every rib poking out under thin grey fur. There’s a thick patch of pink in the center of his chest that fans out towards his shoulders and narrows to just a strip down his stomach before disappearing below his waistband hanging low around his sharp hip bones. 

“Wow, du bist hübsch.” He mutters as he sits up, greedily running his hands over his soft stomach, marveling at how different it feels compared to human skin or even animal fur, unique.

“Hey I remember that one.” Caduceus smiles down at him, running a hand through Caleb’s hair.

Caleb’s clumsy hands trace over his chest, fingers digging into the thick fur before dragging them back down towards his hips. His Xhorhasian style pants are much more form fitting than his last pair, not leaving a lot to the imagination as his cock strains against the fabric. He twists the tie of his pants around a finger and looks up at him expectantly.

“Think we can take these off too?” 

“That is what we were working up to, right?” Looking far too nonchalant for how tense Caleb is feeling. 

“Ja,” Caleb tugs the knot loose as Caduceus stands up next to the bed to finish the job.

Caleb is a smart man, knew that Caduceus would likely be quite well endowed given his size, but seeing is believing and boy does he believe now. He feels he would remember seeing such an impressive dick even in passing when they’ve all had to be around each other to change clothes, but apparently Caduceus is a grower not a shower. 

“Scheisse.”

“Something wrong?” Caduceus looks faintly embarrassed as he sits back down, folding one hand modestly over himself.

“OH! No no I’m just, hoo I am rethinking my plans for any future encounters.” Caleb stutters out, making a mental list of things he will need to purchase and how to best do so discreetly.

“What does that mean?” Caduceus looks confused, apparently not following Caleb’s line of thinking.

“I will tell you later,” Caleb quickly stands and begins trying and failing to get his now frantic fingers to cooperate with the many buttons of his pants, why do his pants have so many buttons? 

That slow dopey smile spreads across Caduceus’ face as he watches Caleb struggle out of his pants, growing wider when he finally kicks them off and comes to stand between his legs, draping his arms over his shoulders. 

“Hello there,” Caduceus’ voice rumbles out sending vibrations down his spine as he takes hold of Caleb’s hips, running his hands up and down his sides from ribs to thighs. 

“Hallo,” Caleb twirls a few strands of long pink hair around his fingers, keeping busy.

“So you said you had plans for the night?”

He took a moment to just look at him, taking in the size of him, trying to figure out the mechanics for them to both get the most out of this. Caleb was ambitious but not stupid so he was going to have to rely on his hands for tonight. 

“Well I was thinking of hopping into you lap and showing you a good time.”

“Oh ok, that sounds fun.” Caduceus looks a bit lost but his ears flip back and forth, excited.

“Scooch back then, get comfortable.” Caleb waves his hands at him to move further onto the bed, grabbing a bottle of oil from his night stand that he definitely didn’t steal from Nott and certainly didn’t leave in there specifically for tonight before crawling on after him. A somewhat giddy smile crosses Caduceus face and the pink insides of his ears grow red as Caleb gets himself situated on his thighs. Oh the number of times he’s thought about being right here. He scoots in close and pours a bit of the oil on his hand and offers it to Caduceus who carefully tries to keep it out of the fur on the back of his hand. Caleb takes Caduceus slick hand by the wrist and guides him to his aching cock, hissing in a breath when he finally _finally_ feels some measure of relief. Caduceus shudders out a breathy laugh as Caleb takes him in hand and stares down at their hands pressing his forehead into the crook of Caleb’s neck and wrapping his free arm around his back.

“Are we still alright?” Caleb asks, his voice a bit shaky trying to remain still to allow Caduceus time to adjust to the new sensations.

“Oh yeah,” Caduceus responds, sliding his hand up the length of Caleb’s cock, pulling a surprised moan out of him.

Caleb wraps his arm around Caduceus shoulders and begins a slow but steady pump on his cock, thoroughly enjoying the startled and shaking groan that rattles out against his chest. What Caduceus lacks in skill he makes up for in enthusiasm, trying to keep time with Caleb and turning his face into his neck and peppering him with kisses. Caleb follows his lead and captures Caduceus’ ear gently in his free hand, moving it carefully to his mouth to drag his tongue over the length of it in time with a long slow tug of his cock. The sound that Caduceus makes is perhaps the most beautiful noise he’s ever heard, a loud a throaty moan just a hairs breath away from being a sob.

“Huuh you keep that up and it’ll be over in a hurry.” Caduceus warns, breath hot in his ear, the hand on his cock speeding up.

“I can go slower,” Running a single finger along the back side of his ear.

He slows the pumping of his hand and rubs his thumb over the head with each slow stroke, lapping his tongue up the length of one ear and caressing the other with his fingers in time with his hand and Caduceus melts into him, a steady string of whining groans falling from his lips as Caleb slowly takes him apart. Caduceus does his best to keep up a steady rhythm, faltering every now and then to shudder and clench around Caleb as his climax closes in. Caduceus learns quickly, listening to the panting and groaning he pulls out of Caleb and adapting his movements each stroke, trailing his other hand slowly and lightly over his back causing a near ticklish tingle to worm its way into his gut. Soon enough Caleb feels he is putty in Caduceus’ hands, all of his senses fine tuned to him and his skin alight in a way that’s almost overwhelming.

“I had-hah forgotten how much better this is with company,” Caleb mumbles into Caduceus’ ear, eliciting a trembling moan ears twitching in his grasp.

“Caleb…” Is all Caduceus manages to choke out, body beginning to tense around him, the hand on his back digging blunt nails into his skin, strokes becoming erratic. Caleb cups his cheek and brings him forehead to forehead, his eyes are glazed over and his mouth hangs open, panting.

“Go on then, mein Liebling,” He whispered, stroking faster as Caduceus’ eyes roll back and flutter shut, crying out his name as his orgasm washes over him, his arm wrapping tight around his ribs to pull them chest to chest and Caduceus buries his face in Caleb’s shoulder to chant his name like a prayer as he spills into Caleb’s hand. Caleb wasn’t expecting there to be so much, but then again there is a lot of Caduceus. He trembles and shakes for a long while as Caleb slowly strokes him through it, pulling out every last drop, only stopping when the sounds of pleasurable moaning turns into the tittering giggling of oversensitivity. Though he would love to watch him squirm it would be best to save that for another time, wouldn’t want to overwhelm him too much on his first time.

Caduceus has since completely lost his rhythm, barely pumping in erratic bursts as he comes down. After gingerly letting go of Caduceus’ quickly softening member Caleb wipes the slick and come from his hand onto his sheets and grasps the hand Caduceus has around his cock, sitting higher on his knees to thrust into their hands. Slowly regaining his faculties, Caduceus grips him tighter and strokes his thumb over the head of Caleb’s cock making him cry out with every thrust. Caleb lets Caduceus take over and wraps his arms around his shoulders, hands clenching in his long hair. The hand that was wrapped around his ribs moves to cup his ass, pushing him to thrust harder into Caduceus’ hand.

“Come on little petal, let go,” Caduceus mutters over his shoulder and it’s the final push Caleb needs get over the edge. His hips stutter and jerk out of sync as he feels his come splatter his stomach, lightning racing up his spine and fire in his veins, he can just barely hear himself letting out a guttural moan into Caduceus’ hair before his legs give out and he slumps down into his chest. They stay there for a while, breathing heavy and humid between them. When Caleb feels he can move to look up at Caduceus he see’s him looking back at him with a look of nothing less than pure adoration. Of everything they’ve done tonight that face feels like too much, too intense, too meaningful. He pockets that feeling to deal with it later and takes hold of Caduceus face, bringing their lips together for a gentle kiss.

When he pulls back that face is still there, but it’s growing more tired the longer he looks.

“Wow, that was, that was something else.” Caduceus sighs, eyes heavy lidded and ears dropping, a delighted smile plastered on his face. 

“I thought you might like that.” 

“I feel like I understand Beau’s odd attempts at courtship with every woman she meets a little better now. Having a libido like hers must be frustrating.”

“Ha I don’t know if you could call what Beau does ‘courtship’ but I think you are right.”

Caduceus dips his head down into Caleb’s neck for what feels like the hundredth time tonight and breaths deeply, wrapping his arms around Caleb’s back. 

“You smell different now,” His voice rumbles against his throat, deep like rolling thunder. 

“Is that... good?” Caleb asks, still a bit lost on how much scent plays a part in their relationship.

“Mhmm,” He takes another breath behind his ear, “More like me.” 

“Can’t imagine why,” Caleb chuckles then shivers as Caduceus continues to rub his nose up and down his neck. 

His body is beginning to feel like his own again, tingling with the feeling of too much, too much touching, too much skin, too much. Reflexively he feels himself recoiling from Caduceus’ persistent nose, the gentle hands wrapped around him, the ghosting of breath.

“Are you alright?” Caduceus asks, pulling away to look at his face.

“Mmm just,” Caleb rubs his fingers into his palms as he tries to think, brain still foggy but skin beginning to crawl, “I need to get up.”

Caduceus releases his hold and with wobbly legs Caleb climbs off the bed, grabbing some piece of cloth from the small pile of his laundry to wipe himself and handing it over to Caduceus to do the same. He debates putting on clothes, desperately wanting to continue the intimacy but also feeling like he might melt out of his skin with the contact. His eyes settle on the large lump of fabric that is Caduceus’ soft white tunic and grabs it and slips it on. This shirt is loose on Caduceus and is basically a tent on him, sleeves hanging well past his hands and the bottom hem brushing the back of his knees. He tugs the fabric tight over his back before returning to the bed, laying down behind Caduceus who looks pleasantly surprised.

“Better?” Caduceus raises an eyebrow at him, looking him over with those all seeing eyes, gently prodding.

“Ja,” Caleb mutters as his body begins to settle down, “Was too much.”

Caduceus hums thoughtfully, placing a hand on Caleb’s leg with more pressure than he expected, more accustomed to the soft touches that make him a bit squirmy at times. He watches for another moment before shuffling to put himself between Caleb’s legs, laying almost completely over Caleb’s body, tucking his head under his chin rather than nuzzling into his neck like he expected. The weight of Caduceus’ thin frame pressing him into the mattress feels like a balm on his over sensitive nerves, all of the tension in his muscles releasing along with a contented sigh as he wraps his arms loosely around Caduceus’ shoulders.

“Thought that might help.” Caduceus mumbles into his chest, slipping his arms up under Caleb’s to squeeze him closer.

“Always so thoughtful, Liebling.” Caleb squeezes around Caduceus shoulders where he notices that the pink of his mohawk actually continues to trail a line of thicker fur down his spine, petering out as it reaches his hips. Caleb runs his fingers down the stripe of fur, soft like it is on his chest, and is rewarded with a sleepy sigh from Caduceus. 

This moment of quiet closeness, of vulnerability, of a strange understanding between the two of them feels so far removed from any other moment Caleb can recall. A quiet rumble starts in Caduceus’ chest, the beginnings of sleep soon to be followed by his familiar heavy snore. This gentle man trusts him so completely, lays naked in his arms and allows himself to be open, to sleep knowing he is safe. This is a man who has not known the cold slide of a blade between the ribs at the hands of someone meant to care for you, hasn’t had his trust used to undo him, hasn’t used someone else’s trust against them, trusts him without knowing what could go wrong. Caleb looks at his hands, a warm pale against cool grey, and remembers them hot and magic-blacked before blinking and only seeing white against the grey. Caduceus shifts, lets out a snorting breath and stretches his arms out into a more comfortable position before falling still again, his heavy breathing growing louder. There’s a feeling he isn’t sure he’s ready to put a name to, warm and languid like molasses pouring over the sharp edges of the cage he has locked himself in, threatening to drown him if only he lets go, accepts it, allows himself to believe that this time there is no knife at his back.

The longer he lays here, relaxed in a way he hasn’t been in far longer than he cares to count, the more he wants to let that feeling take him under, swallow him whole and drag him into the deep, see if maybe he’s had gills all along.


End file.
